Do I really need a psych?
I'm often asked about the relationship between life coaching and the sort of unhappiness and confusion that most people, till very recently, have always taken to psychiatrists and psychotherapists. Of course, once upon a time there weren't any life coaches, so there wasn't a choice, but these days a few brave souls are saying, "Hang on, perhaps coaching is a much better answer for me?"
So if you've ever wondered about this, this article is for you - and for anyone you know who might be in this sort of place. Of course, to help them, you'll need to forward this newsletter on to them or send them for a free consultation with a life coach. Me, for example :-)
Firstly, I should make clear that for some people thinking of going to a psych, it really is the best option, and I would never ever try and persuade those people that coaching was a good choice.
However, I think those people are actually a very small percentage.
In fact, it's my view that at least 90% of people who choose to see a psych should try coaching, and try it first. Not only so that they experience what the options are like, but also because - for most people - coaching is an equally good or better choice.
For that 90+%, there seem to me to be two main reasons why people choose psychs rather than life coaching. (Yes I know there are differences between psychiatrists and psychotherapists, but I hope it's OK if I use this shorthand.)
The most common reason that most people go to a psych rather than a coach is, guess what? Yes, it's the same reason that most people do just about everything else too …
They go because it's the "known", the default option, and it's what everyone else does.
Despite the psych professions' patchy results and sometimes controversial history, they've been around a long time – long enough to spread their message to a wide audience (and thus to gain the support of government and the medical profession, which has also raised their profile.)
Of course, for most people this particular "known" isn't really very known at all – most of us have only a vague stereotyped idea of what psychs do.
But since we coaches are the “new kids on the block”, we sometimes have to work incredibly hard to persuade people that an option even exists – and that for many people it's the best option.
The second reason is a bit of a concern.
Unfortunately, for the last few decades we've been taught to believe that a huge percentage of the population is in some way "ill". And we've lapped it up.
Now, as labels go, "ill" is a lot nicer than "bad" or "inadequate" or "abnormal", which was often how people were described/judged before the days of psychotherapy. Unfortunately, however, this way of looking at our mental and emotional challenges has a huge and disempowering downside: for many people, it’s only a short step from "not my fault" to "not my responsibility to fix", and this can be very tempting!
Of course, taking away stigma and blame is great; but taking away the idea of personal responsibility robs us of one of the best – and most essential - tools for creating happiness and a better life.
Sadly, it seems that there's a widespread perception that with the various psych options, we can probably just turn up, answer the questions, and our problems will eventually go away. It'll likely take a long time, of course, but it won't involve us in any – possibly uncomfortable – effort, and we can be pretty sure that we'll get to stay in our comfort zone.
(NB I really don't know how accurate this perception is, though, so if you go to a psych and it's a lot harder than that, please don't blame me!)
When it comes to coaching, on the other hand, many people fear – quite rightly! – that it'll involve them in more effort, more challenge, and more responsibility for their own happiness. And there may not be anywhere to hide.
Perhaps scariest of all, coaching will likely bring bigger positive changes in their lives, and bring them much quicker.
For those people, the idea of going to a psych may seem like going for a pleasant stroll in the park to get a little bit fitter. After all, why would anyone hire a personal trainer, for heaven's sake?! That's crazy!
So if you're ever considering a visit to a psych, do ask yourself whether you’re willing at least to explore the other option.
So if you've ever wondered about this, this article is for you - and for anyone you know who might be in this sort of place. Of course, to help them, you'll need to forward this newsletter on to them or send them for a free consultation with a life coach. Me, for example :-)
Firstly, I should make clear that for some people thinking of going to a psych, it really is the best option, and I would never ever try and persuade those people that coaching was a good choice.
However, I think those people are actually a very small percentage.
In fact, it's my view that at least 90% of people who choose to see a psych should try coaching, and try it first. Not only so that they experience what the options are like, but also because - for most people - coaching is an equally good or better choice.
For that 90+%, there seem to me to be two main reasons why people choose psychs rather than life coaching. (Yes I know there are differences between psychiatrists and psychotherapists, but I hope it's OK if I use this shorthand.)
The most common reason that most people go to a psych rather than a coach is, guess what? Yes, it's the same reason that most people do just about everything else too …
They go because it's the "known", the default option, and it's what everyone else does.
Despite the psych professions' patchy results and sometimes controversial history, they've been around a long time – long enough to spread their message to a wide audience (and thus to gain the support of government and the medical profession, which has also raised their profile.)
Of course, for most people this particular "known" isn't really very known at all – most of us have only a vague stereotyped idea of what psychs do.
But since we coaches are the “new kids on the block”, we sometimes have to work incredibly hard to persuade people that an option even exists – and that for many people it's the best option.
The second reason is a bit of a concern.
Unfortunately, for the last few decades we've been taught to believe that a huge percentage of the population is in some way "ill". And we've lapped it up.
Now, as labels go, "ill" is a lot nicer than "bad" or "inadequate" or "abnormal", which was often how people were described/judged before the days of psychotherapy. Unfortunately, however, this way of looking at our mental and emotional challenges has a huge and disempowering downside: for many people, it’s only a short step from "not my fault" to "not my responsibility to fix", and this can be very tempting!
Of course, taking away stigma and blame is great; but taking away the idea of personal responsibility robs us of one of the best – and most essential - tools for creating happiness and a better life.
Sadly, it seems that there's a widespread perception that with the various psych options, we can probably just turn up, answer the questions, and our problems will eventually go away. It'll likely take a long time, of course, but it won't involve us in any – possibly uncomfortable – effort, and we can be pretty sure that we'll get to stay in our comfort zone.
(NB I really don't know how accurate this perception is, though, so if you go to a psych and it's a lot harder than that, please don't blame me!)
When it comes to coaching, on the other hand, many people fear – quite rightly! – that it'll involve them in more effort, more challenge, and more responsibility for their own happiness. And there may not be anywhere to hide.
Perhaps scariest of all, coaching will likely bring bigger positive changes in their lives, and bring them much quicker.
For those people, the idea of going to a psych may seem like going for a pleasant stroll in the park to get a little bit fitter. After all, why would anyone hire a personal trainer, for heaven's sake?! That's crazy!
So if you're ever considering a visit to a psych, do ask yourself whether you’re willing at least to explore the other option.