Are spirituality and secular self-development so different?
One of the challenges I've had since getting involved with the personal development industry is how best to integrate the industry's focus of “getting things” with the Buddhist view that actually, “getting things” isn't going to provide the sort of reliable happiness we want.
At first sight it can look like an impossible task, but fortunately, it can be done!
To start with, there are some misunderstandings and oversimplifications to be found on both sides of the fence.
At least in the West, many people with a spiritual focus are very peaceful and laid-back. The general stereotyped perception of such people is that they don't push too hard to get things: “Well, I tried wanting things and it didn't work for me, so now I'm going to opt out of that. Happiness comes from being satisfied with little”. That sort of thing. Sometimes, of course, the people themselves buy into the stereotype and really are like that.
But there are alternatives!
If we look at the Buddha, for example, (and I'm sure you could find similar examples in other traditions), his life was actually characterised by intense striving. At the age of 29 he decided, “You know what? My life isn't the way I'd like it to be. I'm going to find the tools I need to change that.” And he went off to a Tony Robbins Seminar. Well actually, he didn't, but he did the equivalent: he sat at the feet of a spiritual teacher, or guru. And after learning all he could from that guru, he went to another. And after that he tried a path of asceticism, then one of moderation and learning to understand the mechanics of the mind.
So he didn't just sit around waiting for life to happen to him.
And if you read his words, they were a million miles away from “Love and peace, man. Go with the flow. The Universe will provide.” Instead, they encouraged us to actively seek to change our lives. They were direct. They were sometimes even rude.
So when I visit a meditation centre it pains me to find people saying, “I just need to take it easy and be gentle with myself”. With my coach hat on I feel like saying, “This is a very disempowered view. You deserve much better than this!” And with my Buddhist hat? The same!
For those who pay a visit to the world of secular self-development, of course, it's possible to get confused by the cries of, “You can have it all! Now! Go get the lifestyle of your dreams!” Yes, the style is very different from (most of!) the spiritual world. But is the basic message really so alien?
To me it seems that, with its suggestion that there’s a better life out there if you’re curious to find it, it's not.
Yes, it often looks like the self-development industry lives on “the other side of the fence” from spiritual paths such as Buddhism. But if you look around, you might see some of the gaps in that fence, where you can go over to the other side for a while, and come back if and whenever you want to.
At first sight it can look like an impossible task, but fortunately, it can be done!
To start with, there are some misunderstandings and oversimplifications to be found on both sides of the fence.
At least in the West, many people with a spiritual focus are very peaceful and laid-back. The general stereotyped perception of such people is that they don't push too hard to get things: “Well, I tried wanting things and it didn't work for me, so now I'm going to opt out of that. Happiness comes from being satisfied with little”. That sort of thing. Sometimes, of course, the people themselves buy into the stereotype and really are like that.
But there are alternatives!
If we look at the Buddha, for example, (and I'm sure you could find similar examples in other traditions), his life was actually characterised by intense striving. At the age of 29 he decided, “You know what? My life isn't the way I'd like it to be. I'm going to find the tools I need to change that.” And he went off to a Tony Robbins Seminar. Well actually, he didn't, but he did the equivalent: he sat at the feet of a spiritual teacher, or guru. And after learning all he could from that guru, he went to another. And after that he tried a path of asceticism, then one of moderation and learning to understand the mechanics of the mind.
So he didn't just sit around waiting for life to happen to him.
And if you read his words, they were a million miles away from “Love and peace, man. Go with the flow. The Universe will provide.” Instead, they encouraged us to actively seek to change our lives. They were direct. They were sometimes even rude.
So when I visit a meditation centre it pains me to find people saying, “I just need to take it easy and be gentle with myself”. With my coach hat on I feel like saying, “This is a very disempowered view. You deserve much better than this!” And with my Buddhist hat? The same!
For those who pay a visit to the world of secular self-development, of course, it's possible to get confused by the cries of, “You can have it all! Now! Go get the lifestyle of your dreams!” Yes, the style is very different from (most of!) the spiritual world. But is the basic message really so alien?
To me it seems that, with its suggestion that there’s a better life out there if you’re curious to find it, it's not.
Yes, it often looks like the self-development industry lives on “the other side of the fence” from spiritual paths such as Buddhism. But if you look around, you might see some of the gaps in that fence, where you can go over to the other side for a while, and come back if and whenever you want to.